To whom It may concern with love,
Peace on you and Allah blessings and mercies.
Yes every dish that is full will spill out; I know that I made it hard for you with my lateness and forgetfulness, forgetting of your needs and work. And not that only, the forgetting of that peace you wanted me to buy for you, even that I find a simple pressure from my manager and a lot of mind losing lines that left my memory full of holes. Yes you gave me the money that I searched how it came to my pocket, I'm broke. I couldnít buy it even so. And when my moms order me, I obliged. Even that it is one time from yours. Thank you for texting me with "Don't think that I forgot the story of buying that peace even that I had forgiven you at that time. I paid you in advance and you go to your job near it two times daily. I didn't forget that, you thought that because I'm rich, so you side let him/her take care of him/her self. But I'm still patient and merciful. Even so the cap will be spilled when it's full" it's true.
At this times I found myself doing a lot of work without your knowledge, that it may concern you or not. Even that you're chasing me like a seven years old baby. Why not when I'm an immortal donít grow over seven at all.
blame is on me alone, that is why I didn't organize every thing correct from the beginning. I had forgotten that the world is on an organized complete system. I see myself now, like a runaway carrying his things on his back. I couldnít see my problems when they are coming, with that I'm the blamed one. So I will not wait until your cap is full, - I love you - I'll help you first, every one search of their rest. I'll start training on omega to help me in grapping what is left of myself, I do wish that love will not brake us, that love might kill.
Controlling the pressure in the house, family, work and friendship and organizing the duties, is an art. I started, or I'll say I did loss it. And I'll be without the returning to train on controlling it losing it more and more every day. Omega helped me to control my self before and with management control that I had studied before I shall try to gain it back, I still remember when I had the surgery I suggested staying in mom's house, the mothers are the most merciful humans on their sons. The answer was killing, even with that a live body gives hope.
I hided a lot of thing from you, that is because of you, you forced me to do it. So donít blame me. If your dish is a cap, mine is a weal, that why I gave you the choice before I gave it to my self. Can you take a decision for yourself? I won't tell you a thing until the time I gave you before. At that time I will say: this is what you couldnít understand and wanted to see. You had broken our love tree braches that I wished it to grow its leaves and have flowers and gain.
With love to you all,
Written in 19/22-Ramadan-1430H, 9/12 September 2009
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